The other day I was getting my haircut. Sitting in my barber’s chair was one of the many activities of the last few days where I found myself without the necessary diversions that would allow my mind some peace from thinking about what happened to my friend, Carter. Normally I’m pretty chatty with my barber, but sitting there, I couldn’t help but run over the last few moments of Carter’s life and how terrible it must have been.
Then, out of nowhere, Edie Brickell’s song, What I Am started playing on the barber shop’s loud speakers and I was immediately freed from the torture of Carter’s last few moments and transported back to Mrs. Jenkin’s English class. We were listening to a guest lecturer from Wichita State speak on “philosophy.” Like generations of pretentious academics before him, he was lamenting the sad state of affairs of “today’s youth” using Edie’s song as proof that kids only want to “stay in the shallow water before they get too deep.” Apparently, this professor had never heard of poetry and irony.
I felt personally offended by his critique of a pop song that I rather liked. In fact, I liked it so much that I bought the album and listened to it over and over again. To this day, I can probably sing the album from the beginning to end from memory. I remember feeling proud of myself that I had “discovered” a new artist. But my friend Carter soon outpaced me in his discovery of new music. Somehow he knew about songs that didn’t play on local pop station KKRD. Thanks to him, our soundtrack now included REM, Dee-Lite, more REM. I started to look around for new music and I discovered old solo stuff by Peter Gabriel and I remember feeling so much pride when I turned Carter on to it. We were both blown away by Gabriel’s artistry. The only difference was that I was in awe of it and Carter saw it as a challenge. One day he was going to be that kind of artist.
Once, while still in high school, Carter gave me an album by some group called The Smiths and told me I should listen to it. I resisted the music at first. Giving the CD back to him, I claimed ignorance about the music, the strange lyrics, everything. It wasn’t until we both went to SMU and I started loving Morrissey’s solo albums that I began to search backward for his musical origins. I walked to Carter’s dorm room which was just a few doors down from me. “Morrissey used to be in the Smiths?” I said. I’m sure Carter just rolled his eyes. I listened to Louder Than Bombs once again and a year or so after Carter first gave me the CD and after escaping the suffocation of small town Kansas, I was ready to accept The Smiths and all of their genius.
Last Fall we caught up when he was in LA on tour with Edie Brickell. The night before his concert, we hung out after he had taped a performance on Jay Leno. To any other wannabe rock star, the occasion would have called for hookers and cocaine while hanging out at a fancy club. Carter decided to hang with me instead. We hung out at my favorite rocker dive bar and tried to get into a few other more fancy places. I was embarrassed by my inability to get us in to any kind of cool club, but Carter didn’t care. We just went back to his hotel and watched TV and talked, which is pretty much all we did growing up since grade school. Well, that’s not true. Carter and the guys mostly played video games and I watched them play video games. Later, they switched to playing music and I listened to them play music. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to participate. It was just nice to sit and listen to them make music. Chris, Scott, Dave, Eric, Josh. I was their one man audience and it felt good to have such a cool and creative circle of friends.
When he visited last fall, Carter set aside a couple of tickets at the concert at the Henry Ford Theatre. I remember feeling so much pride as I watched Carter play with the New Bohemians – a band that meant so much to me so many years before (and still does). After years of sitting in empty drainage culverts listening to the guys play their mandolins (the acoustics were better there), here was my good friend, playing with a band on a stage in Los Angeles. A band that signaled my coming of age. A band that served as a bridge between the suffocating world of small town Kansas and the rest of my life – in far away places where I didn’t feel so alone. It felt so good knowing that Carter was right where he belonged and his musical abilities and his soulfulness were on display for all to see. I only hoped that one day it would be his name on the marquee as headliner. I always knew that’s where he belonged – up there on stage, performing for anyone who would listen. I still hope people will hear his artistry in recordings, in their memories of his performances. I want people to feel what I always felt being his friend and audience: my life is more beautiful, more meaningful because Carter and his music helped make it that way.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Eric Hogan Remembers...
My Best friend during my high school years was shot and killed early monday morning. I can't begin to tell you what an amazing person this man was, but i will try to at least post a few stories and memories so that you can have some idea of what Carter meant to me.
Carter and I met in 8th grade in science class. He was unfortunate enough to be stuck with me as a lab partner. Carter was a genius. He was by far the smartest person in our high school class of 335 people. He would have been valedictorian, had he not opted out of taking some higher education classes in favor of music classes. I believe he ended up 4th in class, and I truly believe that deep down he didn't want to be valedictorian because he didn't like being under the spotlight.
Carter was the most gifted and talented person I have ever met. During his younger years he took piano lessons, which later became very fruitful. He was regarded as one of the best pianists in the state of Kansas his senior year in high school and was rewarded with a huge piano scholarship at SMU, who had one of the top 5 music schools in the country. Carter could have gone to Juliard but chose a lesser school in favor of having a social life. Again, he didn't seem to enjoy the limelight.
After graduation with a degree in piano performance Carter began giving piano lessons and forming bands. He recorded many songs over the years with many bands and groups including Edie Brickell, Paul Simon, Sparrows and several other local Dallas Bands. He was currently involved in an up & coming band from Dallas called Sorta, who won the 2006 Dallas Observer award for best overall act. Carter was also awarded best musician in Dallas. He was working on a solo album that many thought would be his best work to date.
More importantly for me personally was the time we spent growing up together. Countless memories come to mind and the more I reflect on what Carter and I did together the more I realize what a profound influence he had on my life. I will share with you the memories that come to mind first, I hope you enjoy.
Carter and I were very involved in music in high school, in both Choir for 4 years and Madrigals for 3 years. Carter began touring with Rich Mullins (a very well known Christian singer/songwriter who was tragically killed in a car accident) around our senior year in high school. One day while driving to youth group (Rich was one of our youth sponsors) we were rehearsing a duet that we were going to sing in a high school variety concert. I will never forget that little green 280Z Carter drove in high school. We were living in Derby at the time and we went to youth group in Wichita so it was a prettty long drive. Carter taught me my part of the two part harmony that he had dreamt up of the song "Mountains of Things" by Tracy Chapman as we drove to youth group and when we got there Rich and his best friend Beaker were rehearsing some of the songs they had been writing. We were about 30 minutes early and needed to get to a piano so that Carter could pound out the fine details of the finished song. When we told Rich what we were doing he happily gave up the piano and listened as we finished it. He then asked us to perform it for them. We happily did and he seemed really impressed, especially with Carter. He then asked us if we would like to learn one of his songs that he had just written and help him teach it to the youth group. We gladly accepted and he began to teach us "Step by Step" which became one of the most widely known praise and worship songs in the U.S. and is still heard in many worship services throughout the country. Carter and I, along with Beaker who had helped Rich write the song, were the first people to hear it.
Another fond memory is those legendary nights spent in the culvert in Derby, singing under the city in the echoing acoustics until the late hours of the night. I can't really explain how cool it was, only that you had to be a part of it to understand how much fun it was.
Carter was also a good athlete, playing tennis in high schoool, but his tru love was baseball. I remember taking his mom's tennis balls to the park and using them as baseballs. We would pitch to each other for hours trying to get those tennis balls to fly out of that short park. I know Judy probably cussed us under our breath every time she went to play and found a bunch of dusty tennis balls in her ball cart. He was a big Cardinals fan and we would spend long hours talking about baseball, music, girls, and everything else life had to offer us.
Carter you will be missed. Words cannot express what a deep impact you made on my life, but hopefully this little blog will give you some feeling of what Carter meant to me.
Carter and I met in 8th grade in science class. He was unfortunate enough to be stuck with me as a lab partner. Carter was a genius. He was by far the smartest person in our high school class of 335 people. He would have been valedictorian, had he not opted out of taking some higher education classes in favor of music classes. I believe he ended up 4th in class, and I truly believe that deep down he didn't want to be valedictorian because he didn't like being under the spotlight.
Carter was the most gifted and talented person I have ever met. During his younger years he took piano lessons, which later became very fruitful. He was regarded as one of the best pianists in the state of Kansas his senior year in high school and was rewarded with a huge piano scholarship at SMU, who had one of the top 5 music schools in the country. Carter could have gone to Juliard but chose a lesser school in favor of having a social life. Again, he didn't seem to enjoy the limelight.
After graduation with a degree in piano performance Carter began giving piano lessons and forming bands. He recorded many songs over the years with many bands and groups including Edie Brickell, Paul Simon, Sparrows and several other local Dallas Bands. He was currently involved in an up & coming band from Dallas called Sorta, who won the 2006 Dallas Observer award for best overall act. Carter was also awarded best musician in Dallas. He was working on a solo album that many thought would be his best work to date.
More importantly for me personally was the time we spent growing up together. Countless memories come to mind and the more I reflect on what Carter and I did together the more I realize what a profound influence he had on my life. I will share with you the memories that come to mind first, I hope you enjoy.
Carter and I were very involved in music in high school, in both Choir for 4 years and Madrigals for 3 years. Carter began touring with Rich Mullins (a very well known Christian singer/songwriter who was tragically killed in a car accident) around our senior year in high school. One day while driving to youth group (Rich was one of our youth sponsors) we were rehearsing a duet that we were going to sing in a high school variety concert. I will never forget that little green 280Z Carter drove in high school. We were living in Derby at the time and we went to youth group in Wichita so it was a prettty long drive. Carter taught me my part of the two part harmony that he had dreamt up of the song "Mountains of Things" by Tracy Chapman as we drove to youth group and when we got there Rich and his best friend Beaker were rehearsing some of the songs they had been writing. We were about 30 minutes early and needed to get to a piano so that Carter could pound out the fine details of the finished song. When we told Rich what we were doing he happily gave up the piano and listened as we finished it. He then asked us to perform it for them. We happily did and he seemed really impressed, especially with Carter. He then asked us if we would like to learn one of his songs that he had just written and help him teach it to the youth group. We gladly accepted and he began to teach us "Step by Step" which became one of the most widely known praise and worship songs in the U.S. and is still heard in many worship services throughout the country. Carter and I, along with Beaker who had helped Rich write the song, were the first people to hear it.
Another fond memory is those legendary nights spent in the culvert in Derby, singing under the city in the echoing acoustics until the late hours of the night. I can't really explain how cool it was, only that you had to be a part of it to understand how much fun it was.
Carter was also a good athlete, playing tennis in high schoool, but his tru love was baseball. I remember taking his mom's tennis balls to the park and using them as baseballs. We would pitch to each other for hours trying to get those tennis balls to fly out of that short park. I know Judy probably cussed us under our breath every time she went to play and found a bunch of dusty tennis balls in her ball cart. He was a big Cardinals fan and we would spend long hours talking about baseball, music, girls, and everything else life had to offer us.
Carter you will be missed. Words cannot express what a deep impact you made on my life, but hopefully this little blog will give you some feeling of what Carter meant to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
